Farewell To My Father
We saw each other in my dream that Friday. Remember? Two angels were holding your arms and you were radiantly happy. There wasn't any pain or aging signs in your face. You were so happy, and so young.
-Look son- you said -I am great and I can fly, see? I don't feel any pain son. They are taking me home.
Then you flew away full of joy. Thanks, I thought. I was praying for many days asking God to take you with Him. When I talked to you the Sunday before I felt your sadness and your pain. I asked you to be strong and accept it with resignation. I even promised you to visit you at the end of the month. So far and so close. Thousands of miles away and always so close to me. Like when we were kids and you used to play with us like another kid. You were always so good to all of us. You taught us to enjoy life all the time.
Yes, I have tears in my eyes. You are right. I miss you so much, but I also have tears of happiness because you went back home; the place where every one of us will have to go back sooner or later. You truly won your stay there, and for eternity. You were the kindest man and God just gave you the prize.
The morning after, when I woke up I was absolutely sure that you were already with the angels. I was going to call you that morning, but decided to wait one more day. Sunday was your birthday. Happy Birthday dear old man. Eighty-Five years today.
When I heard you babbling on the phone and dropping the receiver I cried inconsolable. I learned in that moment that I had lost you forever. You were always so strong and healthy I didn't know you were going to leave us so fast. It was less than a month since they told me you were seriously ill.
Last June when I visited you after ten years of absence, you were so happy and alert I thought you were going to live up to 100.
Later I learned that that day you snap up and felt very happy with our family and friends. You sang happy Birthday and even blew the candles. They told me you wanted to drink a glass of champagne but they didn't let you and gave you cider instead.
The day after, Monday the 20th, I climbed the hills as I do almost every day and ask God to take you with him. It wasn't fair to suffer so much after being such a good man.
When they called me to tell me you were gone, and I talked to mom I couldn't stop crying. I thanked God anyway, but now I miss your presence. During all these years we talked every week and you always asked me to come back at least for a visit. It was not easy and you know it. I couldn't get there in time to give you a last kiss.
Yesterday I went back to the mountain thinking that you probably be there waiting for me. Yes, I know that those things don't happen and they are only a fantasy of our minds. I looked for you everywhere but couldn't see you. However, I felt your presence near me. I sat down on a rock and looked at my side waiting for you to sit by me. I knew you were there and I felt your spirit. You were so happy and radiant, like when I saw you with the angels last Friday. You weren't old any longer. Even when I did not see you I noticed that you were very young, like on those black and white pictures of your wedding. You were at least 20 years younger than I, and in perfect shape. That is the image that will remain with me forever. God didn't let me go to see you dying because wanted me to remember you as you are now in heaven.
You know that I am crying...
Please let me cry a little bit more because I had always love you Dad.
Your son, Oscar

March 24, 2000




In Memoriam Oscar José Castagna
March 19, 1915 - March 20, 2000